Awright, Already - I Get It

I don't particularly enjoy getting submission rejections, but it is part of the journey to being published.  To me the worst part is the impersonality - usually they are form letters, especially from the biggest publications.  But I understand that many hundreds of submissions come every month, no time for the niceties to those who aren't already famous or whose story didn't pass the first read.

Here, let me show you an example (names removed):

Thank you very much for letting me see "Mutual Problem." We regret that we cannot make use of it at this time.
All submissions will be examined as promptly as possible, and if suitable, will be paid for on acceptance.
Many manuscripts are rejected because of fundamental faults.  Check these things:
—Since XXX is a science fiction magazine, we consider only science fiction stories—that is, stories in which some aspect of realistic science or technology plays an integral part.  We do not publish fantasy or stories in which the science is only peripheral.
—Science fiction readers are problem solvers!  Stories with downbeat endings, in which the characters have no hope of solving their problems, are strongly disliked by XXX readers.  In a good SF story, the characters strive to solve their problems—and even if they fail in the end, they go down fighting, not whimpering.
—Good fiction demands strong, believable characters who face powerful, intriguing problems.  Without these, there is no story, no matter how fascinating the ideas or scientific background may be.
—Some plot ideas have been so overworked that it’s virtually impossible to wring a fresh story from them.  These include “scientific” retellings of biblical tales, time travelers who unwittingly change their world when traveling into the past, UFO stories, and stories in which the “alien” world turns out to be Earth.
—Write about what you know.  XXX writers should be able to do sufficient research to get their facts straight, and they should be keen enough observers of people to write realistically about them.
—Please don’t ask for individual criticism.  With hundreds of submissions per month, it is physically impossible to answer them all personally.  Many writing errors are quite subtle, and extremely difficult to define clearly in a sentence or two.

See?  If you're going to write, be prepared to see a lot of these.  I would tell you, gentle reader, what I don't like about this one, but I'd rather not risk the publisher's wrath.

8D