Monday, July 18, 2011

Future News



The future.  THE Future.  People talk about the future like it's a book due to be published - the future is coming, it will be here soon!  Imagine their surprise when the future floods in and their shoes get all soggy.  Turns out the future is more like a series of good news/bad news jokes.


Bad news: We will likely see a world in which the United States as we know it is gone.  Massively populated coastal regions will become autonomous, forced to independence by the crushing burden of Federal expense.


Good news: With autonomous regions better able to support themselves, the remaining federal government will be lean, efficient, and focused.  The security, health, and economic success of citizens of the Republic will once again be the priority.  


Bad news: The oceans will be as deserts, barely alive except for a few protected wild ecologies and wide swathes of fish farms along every coast.  Continents will be in a similar eco-crisis, though less extreme.  Hunting wild game will be illegal in every nation that can enforce law.


Good news: Thanks to forward looking projects going on today, repair of existing ecosystems and reintroduction of extinct ecosystems will be impending reality.  Earth, with our help, will soon be healed.


Bad news: The tiny fraction of humans who control almost all of Earth's wealth will be be as rich and influential as most governments.  They will wield enough economic and military power to fulfill every whim, be secure from any attack, even ignore aging.  It will be as if the demigods of legends once again walk the Earth. 


Good news: They will know workforces of slaves and peasants are counterproductive. To 'keep up with the Jones' and maximize production, the mega-rich will need to share all those wonderful technologies they develop.  


Other predictions include:
Someone will beat City Hall, there will be a free lunch, and pet winged pigs will become popular.


; )

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